“If you have to ask if life is real, then you haven’t had to overcome a fall and rise again. The true journey of life. Maybe yours is yet to end or even still maybe your journey is yet to fully begin….” – Chrissie Jenson
Patrick means everything to me. Our first date was the end of year ball when we were Sophomores. Now here we are looking forward to celebrating both Senior year and our anniversary. Saturday couldn’t come fast enough.
The morning of the ball, the girls and I were having our nails done, followed by lunch. Not forgetting hair in the afternoon, all the typical girly things we are known for doing before a special occasion. As per usual they were choosing the pinks and purples, while I went darker to suit my alternative style. Patrick says that being individual and not being your stereotypical American blonde is something he loves about me. The clock struck 7pm and on cue Patrick was at my door in his tuxedo, with a tie that perfectly matched my midnight purple mermaid style dress with sweetheart neckline. As he escorted me to the 1968 blue ford mustang (courtesy of his Dad), he whispered “I have a surprise for you later”. I laughed and slid into the passenger seat, while Patrick checked the car before getting in the driver’s side.
Upon arrival we had our official photo taken. For the third time me and Patrick would be presented in the year book as an item, I felt so warm inside. The night itself was amazing, I never wanted it to end. The music, my friends, Patrick, couldn’t we just stay here? But like all good things it soon came to an end. Patrick had treated me like a princess all evening, when he dropped me off at home, I offered for him to stay over, but with a tender kiss, he declined saying he was off to play a midnight game of basketball for old times’ sake with the guys. I didn’t begrudge him he did spend the entire ball with me, so now he wanted to celebrate with his mates, so we parted and he said “See you tomorrow and I do love you”. I smiled and called “I love you too”. As I went to up to my room, I thought about what he said earlier. I took out my phone and dialed, he picked up.
“You are just too eager for surprises”. Go look in your room”.
He hung up and as I entered my room I noticed pink petals in a heart shape decorating my black duvet. Then hanging on the wardrobe was THE leather jacket, the one I had been saving up for, in the pocket there was a note.
I know you’ve been saving, but thought you deserved a little present on this special day. Happy Anniversary. p.s. Look at the studs on the cuffs.
I inspected the cuffs and engraved into each one was C&P; Chrissie and Patrick. Once again I took out my phone to text him.
OMG! I love it. Thank you. Hope you like yours too it’s in your glovebox. Love you.
It wasn’t till the next morning that I got a reply. Not unusual when he was out with the guys.
Thanks babe, I love it so much can’t believe you got the pick signed by him. Love you 2.
I spent the majority of my holidays at Patricks’ my house was so quiet with my parents working away over the summer, so it was nice to have company. However, it wasn’t much company, Patrick had been promoted at work and therefore had to work nearly every day, even when he wasn’t working he was so tired.
A month into the holidays and he was barely home at all. Patrick’s house was always busy though, with his Mum dashing in out between clients and his older brother Liam, always popping round to use the garage for band practice. Liam is a laugh and doesn’t mind me watching them practice, I began to notice that he kept staring at me during sets, when I asked him why he said he was seeing if I was enjoying it or not. Computer games was another interest of Liam’s and also of Patrick’s, however Patrick took it seriously and was obsessive about being at the top of the board. Liam though didn’t mind me being terrible at computer games, he just put his hands over mine to guide me around the game and always had a sarcastic comment for when I messed up. This holiday I had actually ended up spending more time with Liam than my boyfriend, not that Patrick seemed that bothered, which in all honesty was beginning to hurt.
One day when Patrick was working, Liam wondered if after band practice finished I wanted to join him on a drive into town to get some new band equipment. I decided I was bored of always being around the house, so took him up on his offer. When all the equipment was in the back of the van Liam suggested lunch, his treat as a thank you for helping, so we nipped around the corner to the Italian restaurant. As we were enjoying our food Patrick walked past the window. He seemed shocked to see me out. As he stood in astonishment, I excused myself from the table and headed outside to talk to Patrick. I greeted him with a hug, but he did not return the embrace. I backed up and looked at him confused.
‘You okay?’ I asked. ‘Why you out with Liam?’ ‘Just helping him collect some equipment and grabbing a bite to eat, that’s all’ I replied hesitantly. ‘So you’ve been sneaking around with Liam behind my back and disrespecting me?’
I was astounded at the accusation. ‘What! I wouldn’t, I love you. I can’t believe you think that about me’. With that I turned on my heels headed back inside and carried on with my meal.
When we got back to the van, Patrick was stood leaning against the bonnet. ‘Still out with him then?’ I just walked past and climbed into the van. ‘If you want to be with him instead, then go ahead the Chrissie. We are done!’ He had pissed me off being so childish about me actually socializing with someone.
When we arrived back, I went straight to Patrick’s room and began dumping my stuff in bags. Liam came in after unloading his van, he didn’t say anything he just perched on the end of the bed and watched me. I looked up and caught sight of my leather jacket, I picked it up and slumped down on the end of the bed, brought it to my face and cried into it. Liam put his arm round my shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve this, you’re a great girl and you are worthy of more respect’. His words sounded so genuine. My mood kept changing from upset back to anger towards Patrick and Liam was being so comforting, I leaned into him putting my head on his shoulder. The tears stopped falling and I thought about over the last month we have grown closer as Patrick drifted away. Then Liam placed a kiss on the crown of my head. I looked up at him and he took a deep breath. Placing his lips on mine. In a split second anger shot threw me but not for Liam, for Patrick. With that I returned the gesture and felt pleased.
The next morning, I woke up to knocking on the bedroom door. It was Patrick. I realized I was in his room with my head resting on his brothers’ chest. I didn’t respond. Luckily he spoke through the door. ‘Chrissie, Mum said you came back really upset and that you didn’t leave. I slept on the couch as not to disturb you. I just want to say I’m truly sorry and I hate myself for hurting you. I promise I won’t accuse you again, I don’t know what came over me yesterday. I guess I was just annoyed with myself, for always being busy, and that I hadn’t been the one to take you out. Can you forgive me? Can we talk?’ Then silence. ‘I’ll be downstairs, if you do, love you and sorry’ he added with disappointment in his voice.
‘Morning beautiful’ said Liam as a he placed a kiss on the crown of my head. Looking up at the man beneath me, I realized two things. I didn’t regret being with Liam, but Patrick and me had a good thing until yesterday when my world had turned upside down.
Now here I was with a complex situation and a big decision.
(Next Installment due Summer 2017).